I was certainly raised with the adage 'Honesty is the best policy', although as I got older I quickly realized that you could be TOO honest, and actually some gentle compassion was often better than brutal honesty! Does your friend really want to know if her bum looks too big in her new jeans???
I've also learnt that the most important honesty is self-honesty - to seek to always ask myself to be honest, to be true to what I really want, really feel. This has been a ongoing, difficult strategy for a lifelong people-pleaser. I was in my 40s before I realized it was OK to do, say, what I wanted, and that I could say 'No' sometimes...
I am also trying to be honest with myself as I work through The Lotus and the Lily this month, and to honestly look at the choices I've made and not chastise myself, but look at them, accept them, learn from them, then let them go...
Yesterday's and today's entries have been about looking at the past, owning it, learning from it, seeing the gifts in it, and then letting it go...
This is NOT easy!!!
But I'm heartened by today's Bone Sigh from Terri St Cloud which arrived in my email box...
... it's tough to accept that I am a gift - especially when as I child I was always told I was mistake, I was born too soon (my mother was only 19, and had only been married to my dad for just over 10 months when I was born...)
But if I'm honest with myself, if I choose to listen to my Soul's voice rather than my mother's(!), I can begin to accept I am a gift, and that in offering myself to those who value me 'and leaving the others to themselves', I can grow, my gifts and talents can grow, and my value and purpose in the world can increase...
This is the kind of HONESTY I am seeking to cultivate, and I'd honestly love to know what you think of when you see this word :-)
claire, thanks for pointing me this way. i've been captivated with the concept of honesty for awhile. i love that word. and yeah - i think it's the hardest thing to truly be. i loved this post. and there's no way you were a 'mistake' - i really hope you hold that. not sure if you read this post of mine, but it ties in here and you might like it. http://bonesigharts.blogspot.com/2014/06/what-ifs.html
ReplyDeleteWhat an 'honest' post and most thought provoking! You are certainly a gift to many people :) xxx
ReplyDeleteExactly! If this is not synchronicity, I do not know what is…: I just discovered - only a few days ago - that I, too, have listened to my mothers voice in stead of my own. And hers is not a very positive one. I am now learning that her voice is not mine and how to make a distinction between the two.
ReplyDeleteBook tips: The language of Emotions by Karla McLaren
and Full Body Presence by Suzanne Scurlock-Durana
Thank you for sharing your thoughts - so honestly. I love the thought of choosing to listen to your soul's voice. For me, I am not sure where that other voice within me comes from - I suspect a mix of both my parents, other siblings, school friends, colleagues - and my own internal critic. Wherever it has come from, sometimes I hear that instead of the still small, strong voice of my soul. After writing my weekly blog on the cards for the whole year - and completing that challenge - I have now returned to drawing a card most days as part of my morning practice. Today it is 'Faith' - and is telling me to have faith that my ideas and plans will come to fruition. And that there is no rush, all in good time, go easy on myself - the words of my soul voice. Thank you for prompting these thoughts. x
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